Just Because A Man-Woman Says They Need Space Doesn't Always Mean The Relationship Is Over

One day you meet this really fantastic person. There is strong chemistry there and so you think this is it. You immediately put yourself out there and instantly go "overboard" doing too many things to show the object of your interest and attention that you are very much in love. And when you thought it couldn't get any better, he/she says those dreaded words, "I need some space." You lose control of your thoughts and emotionally collapse and lash out. This eventually leads to an ending that is deeply disappointing.

Many men and women miss out on relationships with great potential simply because they assume "I need some space" always means the relationship is over.

"I need some space" is especially very confusing for men and women who grew up in an environment which was unstable. They easily get bothered by sudden changes and the "not knowing" what's going to happen next overwhelms, frustrates and depresses them.

Just Because A Man-Woman Says They Need Space Doesn't Always Mean The Relationship Is Over

The real tragedy here is that when you overwhelm a man or woman with your desperation, neediness and anger, you force him/her to actually think about ending the relationship. Your strong drive and determination to get attention and love is likely to get you into difficult situations because you want things going faster -- your pace, your call. What you get is men and women literally running for their lives, "It's best if we had no contact", or "Just leave me alone," or "You are too much for me".

This is why it's crucial that you understand that "I need some space" doesn't always mean I am no longer attracted to you or the relationship is over. Sometimes when a person says "I need some space" all they are saying to you is that, at this time, the value of what you are offering does not justify me taking a risk or investing more than I already have. Many men and women hesitate because they fear that they might be making the wrong decision and will regret it later.

If he/she asks for his/her "own space" don't automatically assume this is a pre-breakup situation.

1. Give him/her the "space" he he/she needs. This is his/her opportunity to come face to face with his/her feelings for you, don't get in his/her way. This may even be a chance for both of you to reassess what you have and work on what you might have in the future.

2. Ask him/her what possible compromises he/she is willing to make (may be meet once a week, weekends only, every other week? etc.) then give him/her the space he/she needs. If he/she refuses to compromise, then you know for certain that they're looking for ways to end the relationship. A person's body language will tell you more about their particular state of mind.

3. If he/she is willing to make some compromises don't force him or her to pay more attention to you than he/she is willing to. Repeated attempts to get back a man or woman who is "scared" for his/her life is completely useless. Only a significant space of time and a new type of approach will have any effect on someone whose guard is already up and whose sensitivity is razor-sharp.

4. It is important that you understand that giving him/her space does not mean you don't have anything to do with him/her. On the contrary, maintain your contact with him/her, but make the "contact moments" work to your advantage.

The most effective way to do this is employ a little playful resistance or what we commonly know as playing hard-to-get. Keep in mind that not all playing hard-to-get rules and actions are designed to make someone fall in love with you. Many of the popularly promoted playing hard-to-get "techniques" out there actually drive someone away instead of make them want you more.

The best kind of playing hard-to-get is one that creates more love than resistance. Using a little bit of playful resistance, you can create a "FRIENDLY SPACE" for fair negotiation, easily eliminate a man or woman's reservations about the relationship and concerns about making a long-term commitment and motivate him/her to take the action of risk and to want to invest more in you and the relationship.

When you understand this very engaging and bonding game, you can turn the "I need some space" into a "Let's try it again" or even "This is what I want!" Simply saying it to them is not enough, they need to SEE by your actions that you really understand what they want in a relationship.

Just Because A Man-Woman Says They Need Space Doesn't Always Mean The Relationship Is Over
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Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of e-Books: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness, Breaking A Bad Relationships Pattern, and Playing Hard-To-Get The Love Way.

http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com

http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com

http://www.playinghardtogettheloveway.com

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Credit Card Charge-Off - What Does It Mean and What Should You Do About It?

Have you been told by a creditor that your debt is about to "charge-off"? Did the bill collector make it sound like you will be ruined financially if you allow this catastrophe to happen? If you're behind on your bills, unable to keep up with payments on your credit cards and other debts, sooner or later you will hear a creditor representative threaten you with the dreaded "charge-off." So what is a charge-off anyway? Should you be worried? What are the consequences of this mysterious event?

I'll start by explaining what a charge-off is NOT. Because the term includes the word "charge," many people mistakenly think it has to do with cancellation of the account by the creditor. In other words, you can't "charge" anything on your credit card anymore. But it's not the same thing at all, and most banks will revoke charging privileges around 2-3 months before the deadline we're talking about here.

What banks and bill collectors call a "charge-off" is the point at which the creditor writes off the account balance as a "bad debt." It usually happens after six months of non-payment. After that, they no longer count it on their books as an asset. You still owe the money, of course. And they will certainly make continued attempts to collect it from you. But the creditor has been forced by the rules of accounting to zero out the debt on their financial ledgers. For causing this loss, they will punish you by placing a derogatory mark on your credit report. A "charge-off" is a serious negative mark, to be sure, but it is not the financial ruination that debt collectors would like to have you believe it is.

Credit Card Charge-Off - What Does It Mean and What Should You Do About It?

Should charge-offs be avoided if possible? Certainly. Does the prospect of a charge-off mean you should panic if you have no way to pay the bill? No! Is it the end of the world if the account has already charged off? No! Too often, bill collectors make a charge-off sound so bad, and they apply so much pressure, that people cave in and make payment commitments they cannot keep. Collectors usually demand payment via post-dated checks, and this frequently leads to bounced checks and even worse financial problems. Most of us are brainwashed by the banks and media on the subject of credit. Sure, good credit is important. But committing to payments you really can't afford just to preserve your credit is like watering the lawn while your house is burning down.

Here are a few simple rules to follow when trying to avoid a charge-off that hasn't happened yet:

* Don't be intimidated or threatened by pre-charge-off collection tactics. Keep a cool head and don't take it personally when collectors try to get under your skin.

* Call your creditor to find out the minimum payment necessary to avoid the charge-off, and subsequent payments to keep the account current going forward. Don't commit to this payment (or series of payments) unless you're sure you can follow through.

* Negotiate a lump-sum settlement at 50% or less if you have the resources, or a workout plan for monthly payments that you can live with.

* Do not allow bill collectors to talk you into using post-dated checks, or providing your checking account details over the telephone. Instead, make payments via cashier's check or money order.

* Do not make payments based on a verbal arrangement. Get the deal in writing and signed by a creditor representative who has authority to approve the workout plan.

What should you do if you simply don't have the money to rescue the account from charge-off, or if the account has already been charged off by the creditor?

* Take a deep breath and relax; the sky won't fall on your head just because you had a charge-off.

* Realize that you still have an opportunity to resolve the matter by dealing with the original creditor or the collection agency assigned to the account.

* Negotiate a lump-sum settlement with the creditor or collection agency. Again, aim for 50% or less, and ask for the charge-off to be deleted from your credit report as a condition of the settlement. (Most creditors will not agree to this, but it's worth asking anyway. Do be sure that they will update your credit report to show that the matter has been resolved and the account has been satisfied.)

* If you can't work out a deal with the collection agency assigned to your account, then wait until it goes to another agency! Eventually, it will either be assigned or sold to an outfit that you can deal with to get the matter cleared up.

To sum up, a charge-off is not the end of the world. It should certainly be avoided if possible, but not at the risk of making things worse by committing to payments you're not sure you can keep up with. Just remember that the creditor doesn't want to see a charge-off any more than you do, so use that knowledge to your advantage in working out a mutually acceptable arrangement. Get everything in writing, don't disclose your checking account details, and follow up to make sure the creditor reports the matter correctly on your credit report. You'll find that it's easier than you think to resolve a charge-off situation before it happens, or clean it up if it's already taken place.

Credit Card Charge-Off - What Does It Mean and What Should You Do About It?
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Charles J. Phelan has been helping consumers become debt-free without bankruptcy since 1997. A former senior executive with one of the nation's largest debt settlement firms, he is the author of the Debt Elimination Success Seminar™, a five-hour audio-CD course that teaches consumers how to choose between debt program options based on their financial situation. The course focuses on comprehensive instruction in do-it-yourself debt negotiation & settlement designed to save ,000s. Personal coaching and follow-up support is included. Achieves the same results as professional firms for a tiny fraction of the cost. http://www.zipdebt.com

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Negotiation - Setting the Scene

Just imagine if, after all your personal preparations, rehearsals and visualisations, you meet up with the problem person in a parking lot, in the hallway, on the factory floor, in their office, or even in the kitchen.

How would you feel?

Have you practised for such an eventuality? This can very easily happen.

Negotiation - Setting the Scene

You need to be prepared and in control of everything.

Again, imagine, just as you are about to execute your well-rehearsed script for the negotiation, the phone rings, someone unexpectedly comes along, a dog barks, or their other distractions.

Would you feel like you have lost control of the situation?

The more you are involved in choosing the time and location for the negotiation, the more you are in control, and are perceived to be in control.

That is, you decide the following:

The venue where the encounter will occur

o Ideally, a negotiation encounter should take place on neutral territory.   This gives both parties the feeling that they are starting out on equal footing, and will do great things for rapport building

o If it is not possible to find a neutral setting, then make sure that if you use one where you feel comfortable, for example in your office building, and not in the office building of your counterpart.  That person should not have a psychological advantage over you

o Always in ensure that other people at the venue know that a negotiation procedure is occurring, so that you will not be interrupted.  Specify that you will not take phone calls, accept any visitors or tolerate any other interruptions.  You, of course, need to make sure that your mobile phone (cell phone) is switched off, not on silent (stun), but switched off

o If you need to consult with someone, you would request a break in the proceedings

Arrangement of the physical layout

o You will have all agreed on where the encounter should take place, so you would know about the physical layout including how and where the refreshments will be served

o It is an advantage if you are ask your counterpart if s/he would like a cup of tea or coffee or a cold drink, and serve her or him. This will take any hostility out to be air, as you are placing yourself in a more subservient position

o Couple this with pleasant small-talk and the rapport building process commences

o Make sure that you are in a sitting position that is beneficial to you in the encounter, and that includes that your counterpart is also sitting and not standing.  Preferably you should be facing the door

Controlling the date and time

o Again it is important for you to take charge of the date that the encounter will occur, and the time all day.  This ensures that you feel confident as you will be properly prepared, and you choose the time of day when you operate best, morning or afternoon

Who will be present?

o To not get any unpleasant surprises on the day, you need to have agreed upon who else will be present, if anyone

o If it is a particularly unpleasant negotiation topic, and a mediator is required, you both need to agree on this person

o Both parties need to justify if a third party is requested, such as for moral support, a witness to the proceedings, someone who is respected by both parties, or someone from human resources

o If someone unexpectedly appears, you are within your rights to postpone and reschedule  the negotiation process

This is part of the pre-planning that is so important if both parties, at the end, will feel a win-win situation has occurred.

And, of course, smile and be pleasant.  This also shows you are confident.

Negotiation - Setting the Scene
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Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development and People Skills for Business Professionals, such as Time Management, Negotiation Skills, Developing High-Performance Teams, Assertion Skills, Building International Rapport, Conflict Management and Resolution, Presentation and Platform Skills.

Her studies in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychology have lead to her researching brain disorders such as AD-HD and its relations.

She has her own training business, and conducts courses for Corporate Organizations, Sporting groups and Tertiary Educational Institutions in Australia.

Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study, research, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, presentations and workshops. Her clientele includes children as well as adults.

Gloria Hamilten has authored the eBook: "Practical Self-Hypnosis for Success" and many Reports and online articles.

Her websites provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres.

Visit her websites:

[http://www.connect4results.com]

http://neuro-linguistic-pro-site.com

This article may be freely reprinted or distributed in its entirety in any ezine, newsletter, or website. The author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and be included with every reproduction.

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Negotiation - Tactics, Tricks And Threats

Most successful negotiators recognise that the way people involved in negotiations behave does not always reflect their true feelings or intentions. We are going to look at negotiating tactics that may be used by you or on you. Whether or not you choose to use these tactics, it is vital to understand:

o Tactics work

o They can be being used on you, and can be used by you

Negotiation - Tactics, Tricks And Threats

o Once they are recognised as tactics, their effects are reduced, or eliminated

You may feel that there is no need in your particular case to negotiate or resort to tactics. in negotiation. This is a matter of personal choice.

In general, tactics are used to gain a short-term advantage during the negotiation and are designed to lower your expectations of reaching a successful conclusion.

There are many tactics available to negotiators. Here are some you may recognise.

Pre-Conditioning:

This can begin before you even get together, or start your negotiations with the other party. Let us take a sales example:

You telephone for the appointment and the other side says, aggressively:

"Don't bother coming if you are going to tell me about price increases. You'll be wasting your time and I will be forced to speak to your competitors".

When you do arrive you are kept waiting in reception for half an hour, without being told why. As you walk through the door into the other person's office they indicate for you to sit down, but they don't look up. Instead, they sit leafing through your competitor's brochure, in silence, ignoring your efforts to make conversation.

You are given an uncomfortable low chair to sit in that happens to be directly in line with the sun shining into the office. At this stage, how confident do you feel?

The Monkey On The Back:

Some negotiators have the irritating habit of handing their problems to you so that they become your problems. This is the "monkey on their back" that they want you to carry around for them.

A classic example is the person who says, "I have only got £10,000 in my budget".

This is often used tactically to force a price reduction. Here is what you can do.

When one side says "I have only £10,000 in budget", look concerned and say something like:

"That is a problem. As you are no doubt aware, the cost of our systems can be anything up to £20,000 and I really want to help you choose the best system that meets your needs. Does that mean that if one of our systems has everything you are looking for, but costs £20,000, you would rather I didn't show it to you?"

The "monkey" has been returned and they have to make a choice. If the objection is genuine and the budget figure is correct, you must try to look for an alternative that meets your needs as well as theirs.

If they genuinely can only spend £10,000 that is not a tactic but the truth. In dealing with tactics the first decision you must make is whether it is a tactic or a genuine situation. If it is genuine, you have a problem to solve, rather than a tactic to overcome.

The Use Of Higher Authority:

This can be a most effective way to reduce pressure in the negotiation by introducing an unseen third party and can also be effective in bringing the negotiation to a close.

"I need to have this agreed by my Board of Directors." "If they agree to the terms we have discussed, do we have a deal?"

However, be careful to use this device sparingly so that the other side does not begin to feel you have no decision making authority yourself.

One way of countering this tactic is to say before the bargaining begins: "If this proposal meets your needs, is there any reason you would not give me your decision today?"

If the other side still wishes to resort to higher authority, appeal to their ego by saying: "Of course, they will go along with your recommendations, won't they? Will you be recommending this proposal?"

Nibbling:

Negotiations can be a tiring process. As the point draws near when an agreement is likely, both sides exhibit a psychological need to reach agreement and get on with something else.

You are very vulnerable as the other side reaches for their pen to sign the order form or contract, to concede items that don't significantly affect the final outcome. "Oh, by the way, this does include free delivery, doesn't it?" or "Oh, by the way, the price of the car does include a full tank of petrol?"

Nibbles work best when they are small and asked for at the right psychological moment. Like peanuts, eat enough of them and they get fattening.

Good negotiators will often keep back certain items on their want list until the very last minute when the other party is vulnerable. Watch out for this.

The Good Guy And The Bad Guy:

You may have come across this tactic before or else seen it used in films or on television. This is a tactic designed to soften you up in the negotiation.

For example, you are negotiating the renewal of your service contract with the Buying Director and his Finance Director. You present your proposal and the Buying Director suddenly gets angry and walks out in disgust muttering to himself about how unfair you have been and how the relationship is well and truly over.

You pick up your briefcase and are being shown the door when the Finance Director smiles at you sympathetically and says:

"I'm terribly sorry about that. He is under a lot of pressure. I would like to help you renew your contract, but he really will not consider the price you have suggested. Why don't I go and talk to him for you and see if we can agree a compromise? What is the bottom line on the contract? If you give me your very best price, I will see what I can do".

The best way of dealing with this tactic is to recognise the game that is being played and assess exactly what the quality of the relationship is. You may be able to say something like:

"Come off it, you are using good guy, bad guy. You are a superb negotiator, but let's sit down and discuss the proposal realistically".

If you don't have this kind of relationship, stand firm and insist on dealing with the bad guy, or else bluff yourself and give a figure that is within your acceptable range of alternatives.

One way of combining good guy, bad guy. with higher authority is by saying things like:

"Well, I'd love to do a deal with you on that basis, but my manager refuses to let me agree terms of this nature without referring back and he refuses to talk to salespeople. Give me your best price and I will see what I can do"

Body Language:

It is important in negotiation to react verbally and visually when offers are made. You may have seen the more theatrical negotiators hang their heads in despair or accuse you of being unfair and souring a perfectly good relationship when you present your proposal. Human nature is such that we can believe and accept these outbursts against us and our negotiating position becomes weaker as a result.

Ensure the next time you are in a negotiation that you react to the other party's offer. If you show no reaction, they may be tempted to ask for more and more and you will lose the initiative in the negotiation. Also, it is almost certain that their opening offer is higher than the figure for which they are prepared to settle, so it is important that you clearly signal your unwillingness to accept the opening position.

If you reach the point below which you will not go, it is important that you show this with your body language. News readers, when they have finished reading the news, have a habit of picking up their script and tidying up their papers. This tells the world that they have finished their task and are preparing to leave.

Similarly, when you make your final offer, it can be very powerful to collect your papers together and indicate with your body that it really is your final offer. Put your pen away, sit back in your chair and remain silent. Look concerned and keep quiet.

If your voice says final offer but your body is saying let's keep talking, the other party will disregard what you say and keep negotiating.

The Use Of Silence:

During the negotiation, you may make a proposal and find the other party remains silent. This can be very difficult to handle and often signals disapproval to the inexperienced negotiator. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, so silence induces the need in people to talk.

If you have a proposal to make, make it and ask the other side how he or she feels about it. Having asked the question, sit back and wait for the answer. Whatever you do; don't change your offer as this could seriously weaken your position.

The Vice:

A common technique used by negotiators when presented with a proposal is to say:

"You'll have to do better than that."

The most powerful way of dealing with this is to ask them to be more specific. Whatever you do, don't weaken your negotiating position in response to the vice by giving anything away, too easily. This will only encourage repeat behaviour.

The Power Of Legitimacy:

People believe what they see in writing. We all assume that if a thing is printed or written down, it is non-negotiable. This is what can make price lists so powerful. If you have to present a customer with a price increase or you wish to encourage an early order to beat a price increase, show something in writing such as an office memo from your boss announcing the increase. This will have a far greater impact than just saying your prices are about to go up.

When presented with a price tag in a shop, ask to speak to the manager and make him an offer. You could be surprised at the results.

And Finally -The Low Key Approach:

Don't appear too enthusiastic during negotiations. Over-enthusiasm can encourage skilled negotiators to review their strategy and demand more.

If you are in a negotiation and the other side is not responding to your proposal, recognise this could be a tactic and avoid giving concessions just to cheer them up. Salespeople like to be liked and will often give money away in a negotiation, if the other side appears unhappy.

For example, if you are buying a car avoid saying to the seller things like:

"This is exactly what I'm looking for. I really like the alloy wheels".

Develop a low-key approach. Say things like:

"Well, it may not be exactly what I'm looking for but I might be interested if the price is right".

Copyright © 2008 Jonathan Farrington. All rights reserved

Negotiation - Tactics, Tricks And Threats
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Jonathan Farrington is the CEO of Top Sales Associates and Chairman of The Sales Corporation - based in London and Paris. Jonathan's personal site The JF Consultancy, - www.jonathanfarrington.com - offers a superb range of unique and innovative sales solutions and you can also catch his daily blog at The JF Blogit - www.thejfblogit.co.uk

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Apartment Lease Negotiation Tips for Lower Rent and Cheaper Renewals!

Imagine this typical scenario:

You return to your apartment after a long day and find in your mailbox or under your door an official letter from your landlord. It says that your current lease will be ending in a few months and that you have two alternatives: (1) receive a "one time special" if you quickly renew your lease for another year, or (2) pay a higher rate if you instead go month-to-month. To your dismay, the new rent amount for both alternatives is significantly higher than what you are currently paying to this landlord. What will you do?

Step 1 is to stay calm. Your landlord's strategy is to play on natural fears of further rent increases as it gets closer to renewal time. They know this, and you should too. They are writing this way because landlords have learned that most people will rush to judgment and thus quickly agree to their initial terms and rent increases. However, understand that much of what's in this initial letter are just dream amounts and dream terms for your landlord. Especially, if there are currently any "for lease" signs or similar promotional materials on the grounds of your complex. So remember, stay calm. You can usually ignore this initial letter and wait to respond after receiving their follow-up note a few weeks later, which will often include better terms and conditions. In the meantime...

Apartment Lease Negotiation Tips for Lower Rent and Cheaper Renewals!

Step 2 is to understand. If you can think like your landlord, you will be able to write a simple, but effective, letter to your landlord that has proven to get results. What to include? Keep reading and you will learn how some creativity, a little research, and reasonable confidence can help you to reduce their asking amount even further. And, from this base you will understand how to ask for the lease duration that best meets your needs, and how (depending on market conditions) you can even have a new lease where you pay less rent than your current lease.

First, an example of what NOT to do: Many people mistakenly think that they should tell their landlord they are prepared to move, but that they would really like to stay so they can save on paying moving expenses. In this case, you are not negotiating from a power perspective. Your landlord knows that moving costs (e.g., truck, supplies, labor, etc.) represent money from your pocket, so they will almost always say, "no, do what you have to do, and move." They know from experience that most people want to avoid moving hassles so they figure in this example that tenants will eventually take any "found money" that would have been spent on moving expenses and instead "give it" to their landlord via compliance with their initial rent increase letter.

Alternatively, by using the techniques that follow, we are going to turn this above situation around and show you how to convince your landlord to willingly take money that they would have otherwise spent on re-rental activities and instead "give it" to you in the form of a direct rent reduction or indirect rent concession to the original terms. To better see why this works, understand that your apartment's leasing manager (the person who can approve rent discounts) most likely reports to someone at a larger corporation. And, that someone wants a signed lease -- no matter the term -- to limit their uncertainty and risk exposure, and to help with corporate planning. You must use this to your advantage. Thus...

Step 3 is to do your research. Check online websites for any rent specials. This includes mass-market sites such as Apartments.com and Rent.com, plus the website of your apartment complex and management firm. What specials are they offering to new renters? Print these out. Also, check the web for similar complexes that are near your current apartment and those that are known competition to your current landlord. Especially interesting are those places that are brand new and those that are charging comparable amounts to your older rental unit. You will use these numbers to determine a reasonable counteroffer for your proposed new lease.

Step 4 is to write. You will send to your leasing manager (i.e., landlord representative) a polite, but direct, one-page letter that initially:

(A) "Thanks them for their letter of ____ (fill-in date) regarding their desire to have you continue as a high quality resident of ____ (fill-in name of apartment complex) after your current lease concludes on ____ (fill-in date)."

(B) Asserts that "You are unable to sign a new twelve-month lease agreement with their firm and that the terms and conditions provided by their firm for month-to-month leasing are unacceptable."

(C) Mentions that "However, understanding your desire to maintain positive cash flow and occupancy of my unit via multi-month commitments in these economic times, I respectfully offer the following modified terms:"

It is here that your research can pay big dividends. You must now state that "I am willing to sign, immediately, a ____ (fill-in desired rental duration) months lease for my current unit with the following modified provisions: ____ (state how much you are willing to pay and specifically what discounts and/or other benefits such as free parking, storage, and competitor or management-advertised rebates for which you are asking as per your research)." If appropriate, attach a copy or short summary of any relevant pricing or specific promotional printout.

To strengthen your claim, state that "This arrangement is a 'win-win' and provides a solid basis by which both you, ____ (fill-in the name of your apartment's management company), and myself can mutually meet our individual, corporate, and personal needs." Next, if there are any special circumstances that help your case (see below), you would include them here. For example, "The above is consistent with comparable properties in the area and is asking for nothing more than what is currently being offered to your new ____ (fill-in name of apartment complex) tenants." Or, if you were a mid-year renter in a college town and wanted to stay shorter than an additional full lease term you would write, "The proposed arrangement enables you to put my unit back on cycle so that you can receive premium student rents next year since this proposal makes my unit available in August / September of next year rather than after the prime student rush."

Conclude this letter with a paragraph that further reinforces your position by communicating the following facts to your leasing manager / landlord representative:

"Immediately, this proposal enables you to have my unit generating income -- not vacant -- for an additional ____ (fill-in duration) months from today. Not only is this positive considering the current rental market, but you eliminate cleaning fees, searching/agency fees, and income loss; and are ensured by having a quality tenant who has consistently paid on time, is not a 'hell raiser' with neighbors, and who keeps the unit in as high a clean and quality condition that is possible as per normal living conditions." Your last sentence should always be a call to action. For example, "Please call me upon receipt of this letter so that we can setup a time to sign all forms that will complete this proposed renewal. I look forward to our mutual agreement. This is a 'win-win' for all involved!"

Step 5 is to enjoy. Congratulate yourself for a job well done. You've earned your discount and can now celebrate the fruits of your labor for the rest of your new lease. And, remember, you can do this all over again next year! You have shown loyalty by staying, and they will still make more money by giving you the discount rather than getting a new person because the unit will not be vacant for an unknown length of time. Nor, will they have exceptional cleaning fees or new painting expenses between tenants.

Finally, keep in mind that your lease benefits might be written in the form of a rent concession instead of as a rent reduction. What this means is that if you break your lease and leave early, you might be responsible for paying back to your landlord the difference between the negotiated concession and their original offer. If it's a straight reduction, this might not be an issue. Though, standard liquidated damages clauses in your lease might still be there and require you to pay a "break the lease" penalty. Either way, current market conditions, the quality of your tenancy, and how long you intend to stay will influence the amount that you will eventually pay for rent. Good luck, and happy living!

© Copyright 2007, James G. Kavalaris. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License. Reprints must include all text and links; including those from the resource section, below.

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--- ABOUT THE AUTHOR ---

Jim Kavalaris is the Senior Contributing Advisor to www.Grad-Schools.Info [http://grad-schools.info] and www.Discount-Broker.Info [http://discount-broker.info], a website dedicated to real estate answers. Whether you're a first time home buyer or trying to save your home and prevent foreclosure, spending 4 minutes on this site can empower you with the helpful information you've been looking for to better take the next steps towards solutions to your home mortgage and credit refinancing [http://www.discount-broker.info/site-map.cfm] challenges.

DISCLAIMER: This article is for educational purposes only and does not purport to constitute any legal, medical, or financial advice. It contains general information only and should not be exclusively relied upon for reaching any conclusions regarding any specific circumstances. The author is not your attorney, physician, or financial advisor.

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Personal Injury Insurance Claim - The Insurance Process, Strategy And Negotiation

A personal injury insurance claim can be settle without an
attorney. Make no mistake. In fact, the great majority of personal injury claims
do not involve attorneys. The reason for this is the high legal fees and cost
that will be tackled to your settlement. So learning the process and handling
your claim can save you a bundle and increase your injury compensation.

The personal injury insurance claim process starts when you
go to the doctor. As soon as a medical professional treats you, you will be
considered "injured". When people claim headaches or similar injuries, the
adjuster will not allow payments for pain and suffering unless they think they
can settle the day you filed the claim. Most of the time, however, there will
want to see some objective evidence of the injury.

Most insurance companies will try to settle the person
injury insurance claim (as oppose of your personal injury "legal" claim) as soon
as they think they can get a settlement and release form from you. This document
will be an agreement between you and the insurance company in which you agree
that you will not present a legal claim against the liable party in exchange of
a certain amount of money. This agreement will be honored (most of the time as
it can be disputed) in a court of law.

Personal Injury Insurance Claim - The Insurance Process, Strategy And Negotiation

It is not unusual to find insurance adjusters trying to
settle in your first conversation. They can have a recorded agreement on the
phone that could have the effect of an agreement and release.

If you do not settle, then the personal injury insurance
claim will continue. You will follow a treatment schedule and your medical bills
will be paid by your insurance company by your
Personal Injury Protection Coverage.
Both insurance companies will send you a Medical
Authorization From. This form entitles them to ask for your medical bills and
records. You insurance company will not pay the medical bills until you give
them the form. This is perfectly legal. Courts have ruled that if the insurance
company is required to pay the medical bill, they are entitled to see the
reports. However, you do not have to give this Medical Authorization form to the
insurance company of the person that hit you. You can withhold the records until
you are ready to settle.

After you insurance company pays, they will be reimbursed
by the responsible party's insurance company but only when you settle. This can
take up to three years, depending on your state's bodily injury statute of
limitations. However, your insurance company will not pay for you pain and
suffering and general damages. You have to settle those by yourself.

The personal injury insurance claim process will focus in
your medical treatment. The insurance carrier will be sending you letter and
asking you to report your medical condition. If they believe that you are over
treating, they will send a letter to your own insurance company telling them
that if they pay for your medical bills, they will not reimburse them. This is a
technique to put pressure on your own insurance company to review the medical
records and decline payment in anything that does not appear to be accident
related.

Once you feel better, you are back to "pre accident
condition", or you are release from treatment, the other person's insurance
company will be asking you for the medical authorization form again. You can
declined to turn it in, but you can collect the medical records yourself, review
them, exclude whichever ones you believe do not help your case, and submit the
rest (just like a lawyer would do). Most people will just sign the medical
authorization from, giving the insurance company the right to see every record
in your medical history.

The next step in a personal injury insurance claim is the
evaluation process. Once the insurance company receives all medical records and
reports, they will "compare" your injuries and treatment to similar cases in
your area and find the average jury award. Their first offer is the lowest
amount they believe a jury would award you. You can negotiate that amount to
what you believe a jury would award you.

Once there is an agreement, the insurance company will send
you a settlement of any and all claims form. Once you returned signed, they will
issue you payment and the claim will be settled. At that point, your insurance
company will be reimbursed for your medical bills.

Click here for more information about your personal injury insurance claim.

Personal Injury Insurance Claim - The Insurance Process, Strategy And Negotiation
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All the best,
Hector Quiroga
www.auto-insurance-claim-advice.com

Hector Quiroga has a high interest in helping consumers gain knowledge of the auto insurance claim process for both property damage and bodily injury claims. He covers in great detail what a car accident investigation entails and share many helpful tips for dealing with insurance companies and adjusters.

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Negotiation Skills for Business

Every time we engage in conversation with another individual we are generally negotiating a view, discussion or action. Everyone has different filters from which they perceive the world or their surroundings. These filters are developed throughout one's life as they grow from a child to an adult. Some of the main influences that can develop one's filters are parents, friends, family, social environment, religion, school and experience. As these filters are molded every individual brings a different view point to a negotiation or business discussion. Understanding the angle or view of an individual with whom you are negotiating is key to laying the foundation to work towards a viable solution.

One of the more widely known methods of understanding human negotiation psychology is the Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument, also known as the (TKI). This model asserts that an individual's behavior falls along two basic dimensions: assertiveness - the extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy his or her own concerns and cooperativeness - the extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy the other's person's concerns. This instrument then places an individual into five different style methods when it comes to dealing with conflict.

The first negotiation style is competing. Competing is an assertive and uncooperative, power-oriented style. Most individuals that fall into this category tend to pursue their own interests at the expense of other's using whatever methods they can to win the negotiation. The next style is collaborating. Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative. When collaborating, an individual attempts to work with other individuals to find a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both. It involves digging into an issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two individuals to find an alternative that meets both sets of concerns. Collaborating between two individuals can take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other's insights, resolving some condition that would otherwise have them competing for resources, or confronting and trying to find a creative solution to their conflict.

Negotiation Skills for Business

The next style is compromising. Compromising is generally right in the middle of the assertiveness and cooperativeness dimensions. When compromising, parties look to seek a mutually acceptable solution that can benefit all parties involved. Compromising might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or seeking a common ground position. However, compromising can also mean that both parties are giving up something to meet on the middle ground and this is not always a positive.

Another type of style is avoiding. Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative. When avoiding, an individual does not immediately pursue his or her own concerns or those of the other person. The individual is generally side-stepping the true conflict at hand. They generally find ways to withdraw or postpone an issue to avoid a threatening or intense situation. The last style of the five mentioned in TKI model is accommodating. The accommodating style is generally unassertive and cooperative. Generally, an individual that has an accommodating style will neglect his or her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of others. An accommodating style will just accept the view or stance of others and does not try too hard to push their own objectives onto others.

Once an individual identifies what method of negotiation they often fall into, then they can begin to understand what some of their strengths and weaknesses may be during a negotiation. All the different styles or methods have different strengths and weaknesses associated with them.

Competing can be valuable at times when a decisive action is needed and that individual is not afraid to take control of the situation and make an immediate decision. However, some of the negatives of this style are that a lot of the competing individuals always fight for influence and respect. They may not even have the best solution or not know the answer but often push their opinion on others and act more confident that they feel. This style or method can also cause those around you to inquire less about information or opinions and everyone will be less likely to learn from the negotiation or conflicts.

Collaborating seems to be one of the more effective negotiation methods. The main strength of the collaborative style is that they generally find integrative solutions and adhere to the concerns of both parties because they understand that some items may be too important to compromise. This style can also be very good at merging insights from a variety of people with very different perspectives on an issue or problem. This method can also be viewed as a style that still is able to accomplish all their objectives without rolling over the other parties involved. They are able to gain commitment by incorporating everyone's concerns into a consensual decision.

The weaknesses in this style are fairly limited. However, every negotiation or conflict is different so there will always be times when one method will be better suited for that negotiation. The weakness in always collaborating during a negotiation is that it can take a lot of time and effort. There may be situations where you do not have the luxury of time and effort. Some negotiations don't require advanced solutions or the time it can take to understand the ultimate goals and viewpoint of every individual involved in the negotiation.

Everyone has heard the old saying that it is always best to compromise. However, when truly analyzing this method more in depth that may not always be the case. In a compromise all parties involved are giving up something to help the other achieve their goal. Even in a compromise where the results are considered to be Pareto optimal, individuals would still have to give up some of their ultimate goal to have all the others achieve the optimal position for all parties involved. This style can also lead some to unintended costly compromises of principles, values, long-term objectives, or company welfare. The main benefit of this style as many are aware is that it often satisfies the needs of all parties involved in the negotiation. It can also be a good way to achieve a quick resolution to a complex issue.

Avoiding generally has more of a negative connotation to it than some of the other negotiation styles. However, there can be at times, some advantages to the avoidance method of conflict. This can be a viable way to solve a conflict or negotiation if the potential costs of confronting a conflict outweigh the benefits of its resolution. It can also be used if an issue is not important enough to address and time will be wasted if the negotiation about the issue even begins to ensue.

Last but not least in the methods of negotiating is accommodating. Accommodating can often help a negotiation in the future because if one accommodates to others' needs initially they may be viewed very favorable right away by the others involved. Accommodators are also good at reading situations and can realize when they are wrong. They often can allow better positions or decisions to be considered, able to learn from others and demonstrate that they are caring and reasonable to others needs. However, if one is always accommodating then they may be sacrificing many of their beliefs or ultimate goals just to appease the other parties involved.

After one begins to understand the method or style he or she may fall into then it is time to understand the some of the steps needed to reach an agreement. The first step is to understand everyone's goals or objectives. After one is able to understand the other parties motives than they can begin to understand the needs of each individual and starting negotiating towards a common ground. A key in beginning to uncover an individual's needs and form a common ground is to start to ask some open ended questions.

After gaining a strong understanding of the other parties needs then we can begin to understand how closely their needs fall in line with our objectives. In a lot of situations you can start by gaining agreement on a collaborative effort to solve the problem and fulfilling each party's needs. Then once trust has been established and the other party understands that you are not only searching to obtain your own objectives but also helping them to reach theirs it will become easier to negotiate more of the greater details.

The next step after understanding the other party's needs and working towards a common ground is to start surveying the options available to you. An option can be a possible agreement or part of an agreement that can satisfy either party's objectives. By beginning to explore different options both parties will be able to see different solutions to the problem coming to the table. When you create different options you are create value to the negotiation and building blocks to move the negotiation further down the continuum.

Most of the best negotiations are those in which a number of options have been explored. The first resolution to a conflict is not always accepted and not necessarily the best option for all parties involved. The more options that are generated, the greater the chance that one of them will mutually and effectively satisfy the differing needs of all parties involved. Often, by understanding each other's needs, one can begin to formulate some possible ways to execute a strategy that better solutions and give you some more creative bargaining power.

The key behind developing options in a negotiation is to take organized approach at understanding each parties needs and creating a range of options that can fulfill most of them. To do this one must always come to a negotiation with an open mind. If you do not try to understand the other individual's viewpoints then you will never be effectively working towards a strategy that will fulfill both of your goals. The more options you begin to create, the more room or leverage you will have in that negotiation. To create these options you have to continually remind yourself of the needs and common grounds of the other party and also remember to take into account differences in perception or the filters that were mentioned in the beginning of this paper.

The next items to understand in creating options are timing and risk. Some individuals enjoy the rush of risk and have to make tough decisions in a limited amount of time while others cannot stand the idea of it. Everyone has a different tolerance for risk and they are also different on the speed in which they operate, take action and make decisions. When dealing with any of these scenarios in a negotiation the best action is to try and accommodate the timing involved in the decisions that have to be made.

According to Roger Fisher and Danny Ertel, authors of Getting Ready to Negotiate, when people have several of something, they value the last one somewhat less than those that came before. Fisher and Ertel also state that differences in the marginal value to each party, of some of the goods under negotiation, can create opportunities to improve the overall value they each receive. There is no guarantee that these value creating trade-offs will work in every negotiation. However, if one strives to create good options, prepare in advance, and carefully consider opportunities that create value, then possibilities will become available.

As described by William Ury in his book, Getting Past No, an independent standard is a measuring stick that allows us to decide what a fair solution is. Some common standards include: market value, fair and equal treatment, laws, precedents that have been established in the past. Standards can be utilized when one begins to work or negotiate with a new customer. By establishing certain standards it can help to form the common ground in the negotiation that was mentioned earlier in the paper. Without setting standards the negotiation can have no boundaries and will only make it more difficult to come to a viable solution.

Negotiations always differ in complexity and content. Understanding the different style or methods used by different individuals will help to identify their needs and wants. After understanding the needs and wants it is then time to form the common ground. Once common ground is established in the negotiation then it is time to present the options that will help all parties involved achieve their most viable solutions. Keeping an open mind and always trying to understand the argument from the other individuals' viewpoint will always help achieve the main objectives in a negotiation. A good quote by John Lubbock encompasses a lot about negotiations, "what we see depends mainly on what we look for." By keeping an open mind during any negotiation one may be able to find new possibilities that he or she did not even know existed.

Negotiation Skills for Business
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Works Cited

Roger Fisher and Danny Ertel. Getting Ready to Negotiate. Penguin Books. 1995.
K. Thomas and R. Killman, The Conflict Mode Instrument. (Tuxedo Park, NY: XICOM, 1974). Negotiation 6th Edition. Roy J Lewicki, David M. Saunders, Bruce Barry.
Ury, William. Getting past No. Bantam Books. 1993.

This article was written by Jeff Shjarback.
http://www.tradestock.net

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Cultural Differences Between East and West in the Cross-Cultural Business Negotiations

Culture mainly includes four aspects which greatly influence the cross-cultural business negotiation, they are: language and non-language behaviors, customs, way of thinking and values.

First of all is the difference in language and non-language behaviors. Chinese people are particular about etiquette since the ancient times. Take Chinese and Americans for example, when hearing about others' praise, Chinese people usually use self-depreciatory expression to show their modest. Chinese people are sure to use appellations in conversations. Americans stress equality. The younger generation can call the elder or boss directly by his or her name. To others' praise, Americans will be grateful and accept it. There is also a big difference in non-language behaviors. For example, the behavior of gazing at someone, Chinese people use it to show curiosity or surprise while Americans think it is impolite.

Second is the difference in the customs. Customs mainly include some social activities. Chinese people care much of their face in daily life and work, they care much about their images in other people' eyes and are afraid of being laughed at, discussed and misunderstood. Americans are much more practical, they don't care much about what others think about them, they don't ask about others' age, earnings, marriage which they think is invading others' privacy when they are associating with others. Americans like to express their idea directly while Chinese people choose a more tactful way and so on.

Cultural Differences Between East and West in the Cross-Cultural Business Negotiations

The third difference is in the way of thinking. The difference was embodied in the opposite of the overall thinking and individual thinking. Chinese culture lays particular emphasis on overall thinking which is to observe and think about things on the earth in an overall view, to analyze problems from the whole part, to attach importance on the overall function, complicated relationship and operating process of things, not the internal structure of things. Americans lay particular emphasis on individual thinking which split a complex thing into simple essential factors, then study one by one.

Forth, they work differently in values. The differences in values between east and west lie in the opposite of collectivism and individualism. The core of Chinese people' value is collectivism which thinks that harmonious relationship between people is the foundation of the society. So, Chinese people constantly hold the view of peacefulness is prized and pay special attention to some specially designated group's interests or value. The core of western culture values is individualism, which is the philosophy of individual is most important. The main content of individualism is to believe in the value of individuals, pay much importance to self-freedom and emphasize individual self-control and self-development.

Cultural Differences Between East and West in the Cross-Cultural Business Negotiations
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Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)

A while back, a potential client provided me with some general details of the writing work he wanted me to do for his company. Then he asked me to send him a proposal.

Proposal?! I panicked as I tried to confirm with him what he meant by that since I had never done one before, at least not as a freelancer.

I must've not really wanted to pursue this opportunity since I didn't bother to do research or follow up with the company after submitting a contract instead of a proposal. A little time passed, I came across an article on writing RFPs (Request for Proposal). Ding! The light bulb went on. This guy verbally gave me his RFP and wanted a written response.

Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)

When a company needs a project to be completed by a contractor or outside source, they write a RFP. This is a formal document describing the project, how the contract companies should respond, how the proposals will be reviewed, and contact information. Often, the company documents the submission guidelines to make it easier for them to compare responses. There are no specific standards or guidelines for creating the RFP, but government agencies usually strict standards they follow when conducting the proposal process.

Outside companies read the RFP and write a proposal (a bid) explaining how they can best provide and meet those needs. When writing the proposal, the company should closely follow the guidelines established in the RFP to avoid being removed from consideration for the potential project.

A typical proposal contains:

Executive summary - summary of the entire proposal Statement of need - why project is necessary Project description - How project will be implemented and evaluated Organization information Project schedule Budget Conclusion

My situation was an informal version of all this. The client gave me a high level overview of what I might do for him. If I knew then what I know now, I would've written up a description of the client's needs and how I would complete the work in meeting those needs.

Small businesses would likely do a proposal in between the one I got and the complex government required ones. Most small businesses will be prompted to write a proposal when approaching a client. The client may ask you to submit a proposal outlining what you can do for them. In this case, write a proposal including the elements of a typical proposal and keep it short and to the point especially if the client is not a large company.

There are examples of RFPs and responses peppered throughout the Web, but which one you can learn from depends on the type of work involved. A proposal can be two pages or as big as a book. Rely on your favorite search engine and do the research to create an unbeatable proposal.

Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)
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Negotiation Success is in the Planning

The drama and theatrics one sees during conflict and confrontations easily leads one to believe that negotiation success lies in persuasiveness, eloquence, and clever maneuvering. What good court room drama would be without these critical factors for entertainment? While these elements may be the enjoyable part for some negotiators, and certainly are the entertaining portions for observers, they are not the keys to negotiation success.

This next quote was so important in "Essentials of Negotiation" by Lewicki, Saunders, Barry, and Minton that the authors italicized it. I point this out because I want you to pay attention to this closely, "The foundation for success in negotiation is not in the game playing or the dramatics. The dominant force for success in negotiation is in the planning that takes place prior to the dialogue." Yes, the tactics used during negotiations are important, and success is also influenced by how you react to the other side and implement your own negotiation strategy. However, the foundation for success is preparation.

There are many ways one can prepare for negotiation, and no one way will be perfect for everyone. By sharing different strategies, I hope you can absorb what is useful for your negotiation style and decide what planning steps are needed for the negotiations you partake in.

Negotiation Success is in the Planning

In the "Essentials of Negotiation" the authors set forth ten areas to focus on during effective planning for both distributive and integrative negotiations. I want to briefly share and comment on the ten areas for you to consider:

1. Defining the Issues. Analyze the overall situation and define the issues to be discussed. The more detailed, the better.

2. Assembling the Issues and Defining the Bargaining Mix. Assemble the issues that have been defined into a comprehensive list. The combination of lists from each side of the negotiation determines the bargaining mix. Large bargaining mixes allow for many possible components and arrangements for settlement. However, large bargaining mixes can also lengthen negotiations because of the many possible combinations to consider. Therefore, the issues must be prioritized.

3. Defining Your Interests. After you have defined the issues, you should define the underlying interests and needs. Remember, positions are what a negotiator wants. Interests are why you want them. Asking "why" questions will help define interests.

4. Knowing Your Limits and Alternatives. Limits are the point where you stop the negotiation rather than continue. Settlements beyond this point are not acceptable. You need to know your walkaway point. Alternatives are other deals you could achieve and still meet your needs. The better alternatives you have, the more power you have during negotiations.

5. Setting Targets and Openings. The target point is where you realistically expect to achieve a settlement. You can determine your target by asking what outcome you would be comfortable with, or at what point would you be satisfied. The opening bid or asking price usually represents the best deal you can hope to achieve. One must be cautious in inflating opening bids to the point where they become self-defeating because they are too unrealistic.

6. Assessing My Constituents. When negotiating in a professional context, there are most likely many constituents to the negotiation. Things to consider include the direct actors, the opposite actors, indirect actors, interested observers, and environmental factors.

7. Analyzing the Other Party. Meeting with the other side allows you to learn what issues are important to them. Things to consider include their current resources, interests, and needs. In addition, consider their objectives, alternatives, negotiation style, authority, and likely strategy and tactics.

8. What Strategy Do I want to Pursue? Most likely you are always determining your strategy, and have been all along the planning stages. However, remember not to confuse strategy with tactics. Determine if your engagement strategy will be Competition (Distributive Bargaining), Collaboration (Integrative Negotiation), or Accommodative Negotiation.

9. How Will I Present the Issues to the Other Party? You should present your case clearly and provide ample supporting facts and arguments. You will also want to refute the other party's arguments with your own counterarguments. There are many ways to do this, and during your preparation you should determine how best to present your issues.

10. What Protocol Needs to Be Followed in This Negotiation? The elements of protocol or process that should be considered include the agenda, the location of the negotiation, the time period of negotiation, other parties who may be involved in the negotiation, what might be done if the negotiation fails, and how will the parties keep track of what is agreed to? In most cases, it is best to discuss the procedural issues before the major substantive issues are raised.

There are many different planning templates. Each emphasizes different elements in different sequences. These ten areas represent what the authors of "Essentials of Negotiation" believe to be the most important steps in the planning process. There is more to each of these areas than I had space to describe in this column. However, if you consider each of these ten areas during your planning, you will be well prepared for the challenges you will face during negotiations.

Negotiation Success is in the Planning
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Alain Burrese, J.D. is a mediator/attorney with Bennett Law Office P.C. and an author/speaker through his own company Burrese Enterprises Inc. He writes and speaks about a variety of topics focusing on the business areas of negotiation and success principles as well as self-defense and safety topics. He is the author of Hard-Won Wisdom From the School of Hard Knocks, several instructional dvds, and numerous articles. You can find out more about Alain Burrese at his websites http://www.burrese.com or http://www.bennettlawofficepc.com

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